The Beit Midrash
by Amanda Pogany

Where are you? I sit in the Beit Midrash and look around and can't find you. Where are you? I need hand lotion. I need lip balm. I need you to smile at me. I need you to make me laugh. I need you come over and give me a hug. Where are you? I need to tell you a secret. I need to hear your voice. I need to watch you learning in your chevruta and feel the pride of knowing that you are my best friend. Where are you? I need to tell you that I miss you. I need to tell you that I'm sad. I need to talk to you. I need you to tell me that it's going to be ok. Where are you? I need to know that you are in the room. I need to know that you are in the world. I need to know that you are in my life. Where are you? I need to know that you are ok. I need to know that you aren't sad. I need to know that you know that I am thinking about you. I need to feel connected to you. Where are you? I need to know that your memory won't fade. I need to know that the person I was because of you won't disappear now that you are gone. I need to know that pain and sadness can't last forever. Where are you? I need you to know that I think about you all the time. I need you to know that you were my best friend. I need you to know that I feel so blessed to have had you in my life. Where are you? I need you to know that it's really hard to be here without you. I need you to know that things were much better when you were around. I need you to know that I wish you were here. I need you to know that I miss you every day. Where are you?